AEDP & attachment-trauma
"We can easily confuse nonattachment with avoidance of attachment. Avoidance of attachment, however, is not freedom from attachment. It’s another form of clinging—clinging to the denial of your human attachment needs, out of distrust that love is reliable." - John Welwood, "Human Nature, Buddha Nature"
Growing up we needed secure attachment in caretakers who were attuned and gentle in their love and understanding. They were also needed to provide protection: both physical protection when we felt threatened or encountered danger--and at least as important--emotional protection as we learned to play and trust in the world of relationships.
What happens when the very people who were supposed to provide safety and protection were gone, unreliable, or actively harmful? This creates an attachment-based trauma. You felt abandoned and alone, and needed to freeze-out the enormity of the loss, terror, anger and other emotions. The feelings were too big for your young self to process, and perhaps expressing them would have gotten you into more trouble.Trust, vitality and deep healing can be yours again, when we gently allow frozen emotions to surface and thaw under our exquisite care.
Being fully seen, 'gotten' and accepted without judgment allows you to feel less alone. And feeling less alone makes bearable what may now feel unbearable.
"I was ready to honestly look at/into myself because I knew that something(s) was blocking my full potential. I was determined to untangle all the experiences and complications and learned emotional reactions that were limiting and in some ways paralyzing me. I wanted to be the best me possible. If you are ready to live in truth, Judy Silvan is the perfect guide for that expedition into yourself." -Joseph, 11/15/2015